Maybe I forgot…

“When you’re old enough, you’ll understand”

“You’ll get it eventually”

“It’ll register when you’re my age”

Over the past couple years as I barrel ahead towards the big 3-0 I have noticed that, try as I might, those above sayings have become all the more true.  From the way I cringe at the music that young kids are listening to, or the way I shake my head at young girls dressing all “less that modestly”, to how I scream at teenage folks driving all wild on the highways of the northeast.  It’s ridiculous, but I have finally embraced the truth that age breeds wisdom, but sometimes, just sometimes it births frustration and unease.

As noted previously, I tune to NPR for two reasons: to catch up on the news and have a good story to obsequiously quote at some point to my co-workers.  On the way to work this morning I was tuned into NPR and the informed me that it was the 40^th Anniversary of Sesame Street.  They waxed poetic for a while about the characters, the voices, the educational lessons.  They talked about the social value, the tradition, and the “experimental” aspect of that type of television programming.  NPR even spoke to the guy who voices Oscar and Big Bird (who is supposed to he a precocious 6 year old) about how the various ways that Sesame Street has had to overcome their competition (evidently Bert & Ernie are now in claymation).

Then they played the song.  You know the song…

“Suuuuuuuunny days

Wishing the, clooouds away……..

(some other words I forgot about clear air and such)

…can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street!”

 

Hello friends...

As I sped along the interstate I couldn’t help but smile and sing along.  Then they let it fade out, as I had memories of my Ernie dolls with only one arm**, being scared of the Count, a few menacing numbers, and the bald black guy.

Snuf-a-lufagus

My exit for work was nearing, but I didn’t care because my head was filled with this delightful reverie, and then something offensive came from my radio.  Some new age techno tomfoolery.  I thought I might have accidentally turned the channel, but it was still NPR.  Then I overhear the most egregious thing of all, Sesame Street has changed their intro song.

HUH-WHAT!?!

And immediately my smile wrenched around and my face turned into something ugly. Was there any justifiable explanation for changing this staple?  In an instant my pleasant demeanor gave way to that of a curmudgeon.

I wanted to let this go, but it was too jarring.  Not only was I upset about something rather trivial, but yet again, another layer of my youth shed away.

I can understand why my mother disavowed the Dallas Cowboys because they got rid of her favorite icon of a coach in Tom Landry.  I can sympathize with my older cousin about the pain of Don Cornelius’ absence from Soul Train, or Johnny Carson’s exit from late night television.

As we age, our creature comforts become more than that; they morph in pillars on which we rest our youthful memories.  Once these seemingly unchangeable facts, actually do change, it wreaks havoc on the foundation of our memories.  What we once held familiar and true crumbles out of our grasp, and suddenly to the ground.

...kinda like this...

Getting old sucks.

*Swerving out of the way of careless teenage drivers

**Because I would always carry them by the same arm

NPRelationship

National Public Radio.  The mere mention either perks people’s ears or makes them roll their eyes and tune you out, but there is definitely a reaction.  When I switched jobs and suddenly had a 30-minute commute to work, I was immediately advised to begin listening to NPR.  Prior to this, I had sparingly heard of it when roommates or friend listened to it.  All the other professionals that I knew seemed to listen to it, so why wasn’t I?  I took this self-challenge head-on and began to listen to NPR on my first day’s commute.  As the nation was locked in a heated presidential battle I found this 30-minute sampling of world news to be incredibly informative.  Sometimes I listened, sometimes I didn’t, and that was fine.  I soon realized that there are 5 definitive stages of NPR love, the preceding paragraph described the first one: First Meeting.

...no idea they had a logo...

2. SKEPTICISM
I will admit that I first began to listen to NPR only so that I could profess I listened to NPR.  Every story that begins with “So, I was listening to commentary on the economic stimulus package on the news this morning” is admittedly bland.  Everyone arrives at work with that same tired shit they heard from the Associated Press’ report.  NPR always offers a turbo boost to your story.  Just throw it in there, go ahead. “So, I was listening to commentary on the economic stimulus package on NPR this morning…”*  It’s wonderful.  You know that one golden nugget of information that you remembered from your commute?  Well, the mere fact that it was heard on NPR will afford your story immediate credence.  I’ve seen it work from the boardroom to the bedroom ** Once you actually begin to listen and have commentary you’re progressing into the most exciting phase of this relationship…
3. INTIMATE ROMANCE
NPR’S Live reports from far corners of the earth are fascinating, and if they’re lying about their location, they surely make it sound authentic.  I don’t know what sounds are native to an African or Afghan desert, but NPR has given me a damn good idea.  Not that any of those peripheral details matter, as the commentators and field reporters have become very much friends as I dart in and out of traffic during my morning commute.  I would gladly go for coffee with Steve Insky, or dissect the latest foreign political firestorm with Lucy Nalpathanchil and Renee LaMontagne.  Ray Hardmon can read me the business news any day of the week.  After being pulled to the left right and center with the likes of MSNBC, CNN, and FoxNews, the objective manner with which they report their stories is truly refreshing.  It reminds me of C-Span*** on the radio.  Like all relationships however, this one hit some  rocky roads….
4. END OF HONEYMOON PHASE
After almost a year of this work commute, the starry prolonged gazes, the long romantic walks along the beach, those have been replaced with the dark underbelly of any relationship.  Few things truly bug me about NPR, but those that do are vexing.

PLEDGE DRIVES
This is mostly due to my idiosyncrasies and general “frugality”.  For more on my “frugality” refer to my first barbershop post.   I abhor pledge drives of any sort, from Jerry Lewis, to SU2C to WWF, I can’t stand them.  I will and have given money, I just don’t like being prodded to do so.  When NPR has these pledge drives, it cuts off my nice constant stream of soothing voices and pertinent news stories.  Granted, I enjoy the fact that I can get an uninterrupted stream of information from NPR, as they don’t have any outside sponsorship; obviously this translates into the necessity of donors and in effect, pledge drives.   My logic, while making no sense, is decidedly my own, and as such I will defend it.****

JIHAD
This word is not synonymous with NPR at all, but their contradictory treatment of it is puzzling.  A few months ago I distinctly remember hearing a great piece (on NPR, of all places) on the word jihad and how its connotation has been trashed in the past decade or so since 9/11 and the subsequent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.  The word means “mission with a clear purpose”.  It has nothing to do with war, terrorism, religion, or death. Just as capitalism is synonymous with American greed and decadence, when it’s actually an economic system that relies on re-investment in the free market and opposition of government controlled economy.  Some greedy capitalists were responsible for the government meltdown, and some radical Jihadists are responsible for terrorism.  Some does not define all, and a blind hatred of capitalism rarely makes people seem racist.

JUAN WILLIAMS
I can respect Juan Williams’ resume and he is a very adept news anchor for both NPR,  CNN, and the Washington Post.   Despite all of their responsible and objective journalism, NPR rarely reports on issues specific to the African-American community.  This alone isn’t great, but its even worse that Juan Williams is suddenly considered the authority on all things black, and he’s Panamanian.  Juan used to host a call in show for NPR, but since then the radio syndicate has “Al Sharpton-ed” Mr. Williams.  This is a curious decision for both NPR , especially since he is not the most admired pundit around.

5.  GOOD OL’ STANDBY
When you accept the things that annoy you, and look at the great good, you’ve finally come to love NPR.   When I am unhappy with the music my iPod is choosing, I’ll often just turn on NPR, sometimes for the news, occasionally for they’re soothing voices.  I find myself running to the car on the weekends to turn on “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me? or the oddly hilarious “Car Talk”.  NPR, welcome to the family, its been a long time coming.

*Unless you work in an office where everyone else listens to NPR, at this point you have to up your game and say you listened to Bloomberg radio, but only between successive listenings of Mozart’s 9th symphony and Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana.
**Maybe not so much in the bedroom, but…
***Politics raw & uncut
****This mindset is similar to moral objections to the making of sausage, but loving it anyway.