If you are ever in a position to leave your place of employment on your own terms, the executives may become soft. Despite all of their stingy ways, shallow pockets, and otherwise general bitchass-ness, even the most curmudgeon of employers will often make you the famed “godfather” offer. This normally includes all the things you initially asked for with a cherry on top*. Conventional wisdom holds that you are not to take this offer, because if your employer really values you, then these things would have been on the table in the first place, right? This rejection of the “Godfather Offer” allows you to walk away with dignity and give a final “eff you” to your employer, or something like that.
I would think this law would be rather immutable, until you throw in a game changer:
GAME CHANGER
Having been a faithful T-Mobile customer for nearly 6 years, I would expect a certain amount of trust and service from my mobile carrier. A while ago my phone was stolen by Amy**. She claimed she would return it and the T-Mobile reps that I spoke to, agreed with and even encouraged my poor judgment to keep the phone turned on so that I could communicate with her as she made her way to my office to return the phone. I felt pretty solid about this, since the rep also talk me I wouldn’t be charged with any extra minutes. Needless to say, after a number of hours of tracking my phones usage charges and even calling the numbers that appeared, I decided to have my phone turned off. I was a little upset, since I liked this particular phone, but I let it go. When I spoke to my third rep of the day, I began to realize the tangled web that I had woven:
...sort of like the web I wove, minus the insects, and dew drops...
I had spoken to 3 different reps who each gave me different stories about how T-Mobile could compensate me. By the time I got to my 3rd rep, I was livid about the rampant mis-information. When I spoke to a manager he told me that I would be responsible for the phone charges, but not the $95 of music and games charges. This was the classic psychology move of relative cognitive comparison***, akin to asking someone for $500, and then laughing it off, and actually requesting only $100. I was in a state of shock, and not a lot of arguing was done. I am still embarrassed at how I basically bent over and took it from this T-Mobile Regional Manager. I vowed to cancel my plan once it expired (which was 6 months from that time), and avoid the egregious $200 early cancellation fee.
Fast forward to last week, when I decided to see the exact date my T-Mobile plan would end, so I could break free of this toxic relationship. After a few minutes of recanting my pathetic tale to yet another T-Mobile rep, she listened and tried to reason, yet I was still pretty obstinate about leaving T-Mobile in the dust. Then, it came:
...let's make him an offer he can't refuse...
The Godfather offer. The rep laid it on incredibly thick. I was to get a free month of service, 400 extra minutes for a year at no cost, and any Samsung phone I wanted (which is like getting to choose any brand-new Kia off the lot…no offense, but really). The rep promised to put this on my record while I made my decision. I thanked her for being so kind and then promised that I would consider it.
My conundrum lies in the fact that walking away from this deal may leave me with dignity, but it would leave my wallet hurting as I would have to finagle a new phone contract with some other, unavoidably more expensive carrier. At current time I am still thinking about this, and I have a little under a month. I will continue to wrestle with this ultimately marginally important life decision until the final hour. Until then, I will continue to peruse the full cadre of phones available.
I am currently debating the genius of the Godfather Offer in this situation. I wonder, if after all this time, it finally worked.
*This cherry rarely includes a raise, just menal add-ons such as better parking, increased life insurance or increased fringe benefits
**Names have NOT been changed to expose the guilty. I only know her name because she moved heaven and earth to track me down to speaks her egregious lies about returning my phone
***Yeah, I made that term up
