What type of friend are you? I coined this term with respect to Google’s ever-so-ubiquitous G-chat* I remember someone once asked me (after getting calls from me only after 9pm) “Why do you call me so late, am I not an ‘anytime minutes’ friend” This got me to thinking…has a swelling wave of technology truly changed how we view, value and demarcate our friends?
Allow me to take us on a recklessly loose history on the value judgements of friendships. Let’s say that in the early native land, some Native Indians wanted to get in touch with someone. How big would their smoke signal be, 2 plumes, 3 plumes? Did they have different amount of plumes for friends, family, and the seedy mistress?
...4 puffs...
In the days of colonial America, while people were pioneering and carving out the many territories of this great land, did they even have time to reach out to friends? And if they did, would they send a letter via the pony express or would they send carrier pigeons or carrier (whatever was the domesticated bird of that day)? Did that depend on how strongly you felt about your friend?
How about all those times you called a friend and desparately hoped to get the answering machine, to avoid the conversation that you did not want to have? Regardless of whether you actually had a meaningful conversation, your heart wasn’t into it, and you hated yourself a little because of it.
Remember when T-Mobile first offered the “Fave 5”; a concept that was rather unique at first. Unfortunately, thei marketing department couldn’t quit while they were ahead with the Dwayne Wade/Charles Barkley commercials. Which quickly spiraled out of control from “kitchy” to nauseating. All I remember about those commercials is how Barkley needed some NBA socks.
Hey T-Mobile, stinky old feet really don’t make me want to use your products…thanks
Back to the point though, I often times find myself sitting at work with my Gmail window open. I instinctively click on it every few minutes or so, not because I have received any mail, but to check out the dots on the right side panel, we all know these dots:
GRAY:
Not signed on (a faux-gchatter, who only has an account because someone begged them to do it, and then accepted the invitation. I am not happy with these folks)
RED:
Busy (which is usually bullshit, because I have never g-chatted a busy person and had them ignore me, but I truly detest that “this person is busy, you may be disturbing them” You know what? F**K you Google, I’ll talk to whomever, whenever)
ORANGE:
Idle (pretty harmless)
GREEN:
Available!
I will often click on my Gmail window to see which friends are green. There are few people that I will drop it all for to start any conversatio, Dirty Martini, et. al**. These select few are my “green dot friends” folks who will always have funny stories, offer witty banter and keen advice, or just shoot the virtual shit. These friends will never be too busy, and gladly talk to me while they’re “red”, and I forgive them the absurdity of being “red”. It is these same friends who allow me to shut my Gchat window and return to meaningful work, when they have “gone Gray” , which is sort of like Sarah Palin going rogue, aside from the lack of class, grammar skills skewed ideology, bad analogy.
...so green and so friendly...
My question is…who are your Green Dot Friends?
*I would give them the glory, but they already have enough money.
**You like that Latin right there? Yeah you do.
***Appros Po of nothing. If there is a movie about Hillary Clinton, Rebecca DeMornay must play her. No arguments.
see...
...I told you...
