Sitting in the car dealership right now, on their wireless internet. Not some stolen, bootlegged, router next door nonsense, but actually Nissan’s own internet, with their name and all. I am almost proud to have bought my Nissan from this dealership (or the Pre-Owned one across the street…semantics). As I sit here and make light of the fraternity culture of this car dealership, I must acknowledge for the fact that their internet allows me to do this “live”. Despite this, I am aware of their tactics. By allowing me to use their free* internet, they comfort me into sitting here, and caress me with all these ads for newer versions of my car, and brochures for stuff I don’t need…or do I. (How would a spoiler look? Maybe I do need all weather mats? A kick-pad would look badass!)
...I wish I knew their slogan...
- The idea of cars “inside” and on carpets has fascinated me ever since I can remember
- The free coffee (I restrained myself), HDTV and semi-comfortable office chairs are heavenly
- I get a good laugh out of their euphemism “pre-owned” when they really mean “used”
- It seems that these guys, who are far too overdressed for car dealing can’t talk to each other. They simply yell random stuff across the room.
- The woman in front of me just gave in and picked up a brochure for a car she probably wants, and now she glanced at my computer…jealousy is so ugly…
- I almost feel like I’m i a waiting room in a hospital…every time a service technician emerges from the garage with a concerned look, I am afraid he’s about to deliver awful news about my car
- That “jealous” lady just got bad news…I feel I’m next, the mood coming out of the garage is rather somber.
- They have a bell…like a school bell that they ring for no reason. Its 9:30 on a Saturday morning. Not really trying to hear bells and such.
- Still waiting for the car….
*It may appear on my car’s invoice.
